A Letter To Bonds
I just found a letter I wrote to Bonds. I’m still not sure I really want to post this because it makes me seem weird. Oh well, when in Rome!
Dear Chesty,
I am writing to express both my satisfaction and devestation with relation to the discontinuation of the Bonds Lo-Rider Brief (mens). I first discovered this life changing brand of underwear in the summer of 2006. I was in the market for some dacks that were comfortable and allowed me to express a little bit of personality. My initial survey of the undies wall left me feeling a little empty, lost. Stacked from foot to forehead were mediocre impersonations of some of the big brand, big buck pants – Calvin, Hugo and several other dudes I’ve never been too close to. I was beginning to slide my way over to the lady-pants section with some half baked idea to Frankenstein a pair of Skinny Minis, all for the sake of getting a little colour, a little comfort back in to my life. Just as I’d almost given up hope, from the corner of my eye I spotted a dash of Canary Yellow. Curious, I cocked my head. Low and behold, stacked way up high were the fabled pair of Lo Rider Briefs I’ve become so comfortable with.
Over the coming years I would take my monthly trip to K-Mark and select a new pair of Lo-Riders. I amassed quit a collection! All the colours of the rainbow and many in between. With out a doubt they are the best pair of dacks I’ve ever worn. I’ve told all my friends and converted more than half. I event tried to start an “underwear under there” party in the vein of the Tupperware parties my mum used to have when I was a child. Needless to say my friends weren’t that interested.
But alas, good things never last! I knew the day would come when I would find the mens wall devoid of colour, of character. I knew the Lo Rider was not meant to be forever, but I never expected it to end this soon. I’ve looked in several K-Marts over the last few weeks and I can not find any Lo Riders. As far as I can tell they have been taken off the market.
I’m writing this letter in a state of desperation. PLEASE, BRING BACK THE LO-RIDER BRIEFS. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY (as some of my favourite pairs are), BRING BACK THE LO-RIDERS.
Yours in disbelief and disappear,
Joel
They never did reply. Not sure why. I also wanted to add a picture but these underpants a so mysterious even Google doesn’t know what I’m on about.
Categorized as Blog
Bonds Lo-riders sound like the man equivalent of the Bonds Boyleg (for ladies not boys) — the personality more than the cut. Thank you for sharing your passionate letter because if they ever take Bonds Boylegs off the market I will copy, paste and replace.