The Jack (Shit) Awards

Jack is Shit

On Tuesday night I was unfortunate enough to have won tickets to the Jack Awards at Sydney’sLuna
Park. Being an event manager I should have smelt the shit long before I did, however the opportunistic ex-student in me heard the words “free tickets” and, at that point, nothing else seemed to matter. I called the radio station and low and behold, I was the first caller (hindsight tells me that I was probably the only caller). I was contacted on the day of the event and told to pick up my tickets at 6.00pm; 

JOEL: 6.00pm? I thought it started at 8.30pm?
WORK EXPERIENCE KID: Oh, well… yeah it does… but can you make it at 6?
JOEL: I gue…
WORK EXPERIENCE KID: There is dinner and we will give you drinks and stuff so…yeah.
JOEL: Oh, like beer? Is that what you mean?
WORK EXPERIENCE KID: Yeah. No. It’s the Jack Awards, so you get Jack Daniels
JOEL: OK then. But I was told earlier that I could get there at 7. I work and I may have trouble getting there at 6.
WORK EXPERIENCE KID: Um…Just let me check (muffled voice) hey can he get there later? Like 7? I think he has to go to the vet? Something about his cat. OK. (TALKING TO ME AGAIN) Yeah sure that’s fine, you won’t miss anything

 And so with that my +1 and I arrived at 7 and got ushered in to this old, dank dining hall only to be told that there was no food left and the drinks were all gone. That’s right, no drinks. Turns out people had been taking more than the one they were allocated and so now there were none left, “Just go and ask one of the people with heaps if you can have one of theirs” said the poor catering girl. 

Eventually, after much whining on my behalf, we were given a cold burger and a Sprite. “OK, clean slate. From here we forget about all that has happened and give this thing a chance” I told my friend. I would later make these words my catch phrase for the evening. After 15 minutes eating time, we got ushered to the red carpet were we were to cheer and applaud all the B-Grade celebs as they made their way in to the awards hall (Bessie Bardot was my personal favourite). This went on for an hour. It was friggin’ boring. However there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Once the celebs had arrived we would be able to go in to the bar area, drink our problems away and see some bands. Or so we were told. Turns out that was never the plan. As soon as everyone had marched down the carpet security guards began ushering us in to the “mosh pit”, which actually resembled a cage: 

 JOEL: Can we get anything to drink in there? Water even?
SECURITY: No.
JOEL: What about toilets, are there toilets inside (I was busting by this stage)
SECURITY: It’s a f***** TV studio mate, what the f*** do you reckon? Now move! 
 At this point we both turned around and left. 

 So what’s my major beef with Jack? Primarily it was the complete lack of information we received. I won the tickets under the impression that I was actually a “winner” and that I would be attending the awards as a guest. Had I been told that I was rent-a-crowd and that I would actually be doing the promoters a favour, my attitude would have been completely different. To intentionally mislead your publics isn’t only unethical, it’s incredibly bad brand management. The artists were definitely looked after, but none of the punters were. Which is pretty short sighted in my opinion. Had Jack honestly communicated with me (as a punter) I wouldn’t still be sitting here feeling cheated. I much prefer the Bundy Bear – he seems more friendly.

Head of Community at Blackbird Ventures, Festival Director of Sydney Craft Beer Week, ex-artist Manager at Umbrella. Family man, dedicated home brewer. Sydney sider. All 'round rad dude. I blog sometimes but it has never really become a habit, however I'm all over the Internet and you can find me on Twitter, LinkedIn, or Facebook (only if you're a mate).

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Head of Community at Blackbird Ventures. Festival Director of Sydney Craft Beer Week. Homebrewer. Family man. Former Artist Manager / Founder at (The Rubens, Cloud Control, Urthboy, Winterbourne and more).

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